Open Doors and Half Made Plans
"When one door closes another one opens." I mean yeah it does but not on its own, you have to find the door and then open it yourself.
Last week I finally heard back from the university program I had applied to, I didn't get in. I was fine... until I wasn't. I crashed hard, I was crying and depressed, I had to go to my parents because I knew I shouldn't be alone all night thinking the thoughts I was thinking.
What was hard for me wasn't the rejection of the 'no'. It was that I was in limbo yet again. I've felt like I've been directionless since January 2015 when I came home from England. When I decided to apply for midwifery I was so excited! I finally had an achievable goal with concrete results. I was finally moving forward. The thing with my mental health is that no matter how busy I am, if I don't feel like I'm moving forward in the big picture I get depressed and anxious.
So after mourning the fact that I would have to wait a whole year to reapply and put off my dream career of being a midwife, I came up with another plan.
I am now a student at Laurentian University (the same university as my plan A), starting a degree in women's studies, here's the catch though, its an online degree that I plan to work on whilst traveling/living in England. This way I get the best of both worlds, I get to work on courses that for one I am very interested in and that resonate with me and two that will have transferrable credits towards the midwifery program. It isn't perfect but what plan is? And yeah I've still got important details to sort out such as where I'm going to be living, how long I'll be staying in England and oh yeah how I'm going to afford all this. But hey I'm excited, our youth is the time to take advantage of our freedom, I want to be a Momma some day and then buying a one way ticket with no money wont be something I can do.
I guess we'll see where this takes me, because as you're reading this, you have as much of an idea as I do. <3 More to come on my crazy plans.
Last week I finally heard back from the university program I had applied to, I didn't get in. I was fine... until I wasn't. I crashed hard, I was crying and depressed, I had to go to my parents because I knew I shouldn't be alone all night thinking the thoughts I was thinking.
What was hard for me wasn't the rejection of the 'no'. It was that I was in limbo yet again. I've felt like I've been directionless since January 2015 when I came home from England. When I decided to apply for midwifery I was so excited! I finally had an achievable goal with concrete results. I was finally moving forward. The thing with my mental health is that no matter how busy I am, if I don't feel like I'm moving forward in the big picture I get depressed and anxious.
So after mourning the fact that I would have to wait a whole year to reapply and put off my dream career of being a midwife, I came up with another plan.
I am now a student at Laurentian University (the same university as my plan A), starting a degree in women's studies, here's the catch though, its an online degree that I plan to work on whilst traveling/living in England. This way I get the best of both worlds, I get to work on courses that for one I am very interested in and that resonate with me and two that will have transferrable credits towards the midwifery program. It isn't perfect but what plan is? And yeah I've still got important details to sort out such as where I'm going to be living, how long I'll be staying in England and oh yeah how I'm going to afford all this. But hey I'm excited, our youth is the time to take advantage of our freedom, I want to be a Momma some day and then buying a one way ticket with no money wont be something I can do.
I guess we'll see where this takes me, because as you're reading this, you have as much of an idea as I do. <3 More to come on my crazy plans.
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