Its something I do.

Wonder [wuhn-der]1.To have a feeling of awe, astonishment, surprise, or admiration2.To be filled with curiosity or doubt

I sometimes wonder why I enjoy writing, why I enjoy making videos that no one but a few of my friends watch. I often wonder what pushes me to do something or holds me back and even more frequently I wonder why I wonder about these things in the first place.
I seem to be in a cycle of wondering, sometimes I forget to wonder and then I remember that its something I do. I don't really understand what drives me towards something or pushes me away from another. And sometimes I wonder why, I  wonder why I completely rebel against an idea to the point where I am paralyzed with anxiety. Or why I tend to act spontaneously for the most daft plans but often struggle with non-existent obstacles. Why something as simple as sitting down and writing makes me feel so accomplished. I don't do it for recognition, frankly like I said I don't know why I am driven to write, to create, to meditate. 
But what I do know is that its something I will continue to explore and to grow with. For some reflection is found in manual labour, in music, in movement, in painting and some like me in words, among these we find one element that is common... creation. It seems to me that humans find beauty and peace in one element, in creation, in making something of our own in seeing something take shape before our eyes, and knowing that it is a reflection of ourselves. It is through our creation that we discover who we are, what we are and why we are.
So what do my creations say about me? They are simple and sometimes rough around the edges but they are beautiful because I created them.

And at the end of the day creating is just something I do, I don't need to know why... I just need to do it and take time to wonder.